Background
  • arrow_back Home
  • keyboard_arrow_rightRead

Read

Results 11-21 of 69 remove Page 2 of 7

Category filter keyboard_arrow_down
AD
trending_flat

Activities

Managing Emotions (Reflection)

In order to stay bet-free and sober, one area that needs daily maintenance is my emotions. A lot of emotions personally are kept in the ‘grey area’ thanks to modern medicine. I still from time to time go to extremes. Extreme highs like happiness and deep, deep, dangerous lows such as anger and sadness will lead me to relapse. Personally I find the extreme highs more dangerous than the lows. I can be so elated that I need a drink or bet just to calm down and regulate my body & mind. One area that can help is meditation. A few techniques I use include imagining a balloon in my stomach inflating and deflating as I breathe in and out. Another method I like is picturing four boxes labelled by their numbers and breathing in and out to each box. […]

Shanley July 11, 2025

trending_flat

Addiction

A Day of Rest – CM Athy (Reflection)

It’s Sunday today, our day of rest. Today I was in mass and came to the conclusion that I need to start forgiving myself for some of the close calls I have had in life. I also need to let go of my past. One thing I hope to do here is admit I was wrong and admit it to another human being. I will stop living in the past and move on knowing I can do good by others. I will find a new freedom. In CM they say ‘Your truth will set you free’. I’m holding on to regrets I have from when I was approx nine to eleven. Two things I shared my gratitude for today was being able to brush my teeth and my gratitude towards frontline services. In addiction I cannot manage the most basic […]

Shanley July 11, 2025

trending_flat

Addiction

“A Selfish Programme” – CM Athy (AA Quote) (Reflection)

They call Recovery & Treatment a selfish programme. For me I have to remind myself, nobody would bring me here except my eldest brother and my Mum. I also need to remember I walked through the gates of this house by myself and I will one day walk back out the gates by myself too. Another reminder I need is that not one of my so-called friends even picked up the phone to me when I was in the psychiatric hospital. Some of them even did the opposite and robbed any valuables that I had left. Yet these are the same people I will go for a drink with if I pick up again. Unfortunately in homeless services and on the streets being kind is seen as a weakness. I was seen as a very weak person on the streets. […]

Shanley July 11, 2025

trending_flat

Fast Forward

Sunday Weekly Reflection (Live Typing)

Where do I begin? I suppose I’ll start with my housing issues. People who tried to take over my house ten months ago have been calling to my door. It’s brought a lot of trauma back. I have been full of fear and anxiety. I have had to buy a camera for my apartment to relieve some of the stress. At the very least if they break my door down they will now be held accountable. The message will spread that my home is no longer a party zone. My home is now an alcohol free zone. I missed three days of journaling because of this stress. I hope it comes to an end soon. I was at a meeting on Tuesday and a person quoted ‘Yesterday's shower won’t keep you clean today’. I definitely reflect on the past too […]

Shanley July 10, 2025

trending_flat

Addiction

“Play The Tape Forward” – (AA Quote) Reflection

I’d be lying if I said I haven’t had thoughts of a gamble or a drink whilst here. What keeps me refrain is ‘playing the tape forward’. Hypothetically if I was to leave here today what would happen? Firstly it’s my payday so money isn’t an issue, it’s temptation. I would probably make it to the nearest off licence or pub (this would turn out to be exactly what happened). I’d have done a u-turn and be back on the roundabout of addiction. Secondly, my next of kin would be notified, My Mum. I would be creating worry within my family unit again (Again, I’m guilty of this).   Then the shame and guilt would start creeping into my life like an uncontrollable virus. I would then proceed to sleeping on the streets of Athy or end up in either […]

Shanley July 10, 2025

trending_flat

Addiction

Balance – CM Athy (Reflection)

It's Saturday today in the Mothership. Family & Friends are visiting today and I’m all alone. It’s one of the downfalls of being so far from Galway. At least I don’t have the temptation to run away with my Mum. I’m also too far away to call a taxi. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about balance and the four pillars of the Cuan Mhuire programme. I’m also aware that as everyday goes by my ‘imaginative function’ increases. Yesterday I wanted to be an addiction counsellor, today I want to work for my brother, I have the art of distraction down to a tee. If I want to remain sober, not only do I have to start believing that I am a good person, I also need to find a good balance. A balance of work, self development, recreation, family […]

Shanley July 10, 2025

trending_flat

CM Athy

Friyay – CM Athy (Reflection)

It’s Friyay. The end of the week. I’ve made progress. I’m training my brain daily to ‘make progress, not perfection.’ (Another AA quote). Work came and went today. In the eleven a.m shift I was annoyed that not everybody showed up to work, it gave me a chance to look at myself. All I could do is my part in work therapy. Keep ‘my own side of the garden clean’. I was content after that to continue my duties. Some things in life are simply not worth using our emotions on.   It’s been a good week, I attended everything I had to, next week I hope to wake up at 5.45, continue to track my nutrition and introduce some exercise into my routine. Exercise is one thing I’m lacking peeling potatoes. When I leave in ten weeks it will […]

Shanley July 10, 2025

trending_flat

CM Athy

Faith – CM Athy (Reflection)

Another good quality I have today is faith. Faith that brighter days lie ahead. If I check in and out with myself daily the world can be my oyster. Today I wasn’t rude or didn’t piss anybody off. I learnt more about myself and most importantly my family don’t have to worry about me, they know I’m in a safe place. Who would have thought locking ninety odd addicts in one place could be such a safe environment.   In our morning meeting we were asked if we were ever advised about our addictions in the past. One regret I have is not listening to my boss Clipper when he suggested that drink didn’t suit me. It reminded me of how I always managed to have change for the poker machines at work too. I really did love pubs, I […]

Shanley July 9, 2025

trending_flat

CM Athy

Sr. Consilio Meeting (Flashback)

Today we had the privilege of meeting Sr. Consilio. She is an inspiration in how to live. She is about eighty six years old and has never seen the badness in people. She believes in looking at the goodness in others. I was meant to be looking at the goodness in myself yet all I could do was look at how I can improve myself. I could be less judgemental for one, for a long time I thought I was better than a heroin addict when I was in addiction. Now I can see we are both just covering up our pain. I begrudge people too, I’ve often been annoyed at the speed others were housed. I can see now that I was addicted to deflecting from myself. Positive things I could list about myself include; I can listen, I […]

Shanley July 9, 2025

trending_flat

Addiction

Unable to cry (Flashback)

I wanted to cry today but no tears would come out. I believe it could be a consequence of the medication I’m on. I‘m (not) crying out for help I probably won’t receive. It could be a result of being in the homeless system for so long too. I built a thick skin and a resilience to emotions during those days. I would not show that I was afraid, sad and lonely. It was easier to pick up a drink or have a gamble. It was easier to congregate with other homeless who were sad and lonely too. At times I can feel a numbness throughout my body and mind, like I have no soul. I have felt soulless since as long as I can remember, even prior to alcohol or gambling being in the picture. Can I continue like […]

Shanley July 9, 2025

AD
Facebook Instagram Linkedin

Developed By MGMT 2025

AD

Login to enjoy full advantages

Please login or subscribe to continue.

✖

Go Premium!

Enjoy the full advantage of the premium access.

✖

Stop following

Unfollow Cancel

✖

Cancel subscription

Are you sure you want to cancel your subscription? You will lose your Premium access and stored playlists.

Go back Confirm cancellation

✖