{"id":1214,"date":"2025-06-29T23:17:59","date_gmt":"2025-06-29T22:17:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sober.ie\/?p=1214"},"modified":"2025-06-29T23:17:59","modified_gmt":"2025-06-29T22:17:59","slug":"choosing-friends-wisely","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sober.ie\/index.php\/2025\/06\/29\/choosing-friends-wisely\/","title":{"rendered":"Choosing Friends Wisely"},"content":{"rendered":"<span class=\"span-reading-time rt-reading-time\" style=\"display: block;\"><span class=\"rt-label rt-prefix\">Reading Time: <\/span> <span class=\"rt-time\"> 2<\/span> <span class=\"rt-label rt-postfix\">minutes<\/span><\/span><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To this day I would consider myself popular around the homeless and alcoholic scenes. Fundamentally this is because I\u2019m a people pleaser, I give money and drink to others\u2019 and have an inability to say no. Since I got sober I have realised I have no friend\u2019s really. I traded them for a bottle. Since being housed too it has come with its own obstacles. A lot of people have asked to stay over, to party here too. Regretfully I let them. My pride doesn\u2019t help either. I hate being defined as vulnerable yet that is exactly what I am. These so-called friends are the reason I have ended up in Beaumont hospital and University Hospital Galway.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I\u2019m looking forward to making new connections, I\u2019m looking forward to reigniting old friendships too. Afterall it\u2019s nearly tennis season and I can\u2019t play by myself. I am literally just after reading the Galway Advertiser, there was a section today on the tech scene in Galway. On collaborations, they wrote about the tech environments we have on offer. If I continue to hang out with the homeless I will too become homeless, the day will come that I get one warning too many. If I continue to hang out with alcoholics the day will come too that I will pick up a drink. Hanging out with other gamblers is out of the question too.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In addiction we tend to distance ourselves from those who love us the most. I have had some amazing friendships in the past but I took the decision to distance myself from them. I know now that it was down to disconnection. I disconnected from everything in life. I chose a lifestyle that provided ample time and money to drink and gamble. Homelessness is the best thing in the world for an alcoholic or gambler. For seventy euros a week you can be provided with top homelessness support, dinners, a bed at night and much much more. I never missed my rent in homeless services, the fact is the rate was too good to be true yet it was. If I was earning two hundred and forty four euros a week I would be left with one hundred and seventy euros to do with what I please. In my case drinking and gambling.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I now hope to commit to three meetings a week where I will try my damndest to connect with others\u2019. Spark new friendships in the process too. I could relate so much to the speaker at the last meeting I went to. I could genuinely see myself sparking a friendship with him some day. But that will only happen if I \u2018Keep Coming Back\u2019 as they also say in meetings and stay sober. As they say in AA \u2018Stick with the winners\u2019<\/span><b><br \/>\n<\/b><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p><span class=\"span-reading-time rt-reading-time\" style=\"display: block;\"><span class=\"rt-label rt-prefix\">Reading Time: <\/span> <span class=\"rt-time\"> 2<\/span> <span class=\"rt-label rt-postfix\">minutes<\/span><\/span>To this day I would consider myself popular around the homeless and alcoholic scenes. Fundamentally this is because I\u2019m a people pleaser, I give money and drink to others\u2019 and have an inability to say no. Since I got sober I have realised I have no friend\u2019s really. I traded ...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":931,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[60,51,66,67],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1214","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-addiction","category-flashback","category-homelessness","category-livingsober"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Choosing Friends Wisely - Sober.ie V1.3<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Since I got sober I have realised I have no friend\u2019s really. I traded them for a bottle. 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I need meetings now to keep me connected.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/sober.ie\/index.php\/2025\/06\/11\/choosing-friends-wisely\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Sober.ie V1.3\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2025-06-29T22:17:59+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/sober.ie\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/Blog-Small-Large-12.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1240\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"827\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Shanley\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@#\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Shanley\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/sober.ie\/index.php\/2025\/06\/11\/choosing-friends-wisely\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/sober.ie\/index.php\/2025\/06\/11\/choosing-friends-wisely\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Shanley\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/sober.ie\/#\/schema\/person\/3722c2ea24643db39df2442d10d25025\"},\"headline\":\"Choosing Friends Wisely\",\"datePublished\":\"2025-06-29T22:17:59+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/sober.ie\/index.php\/2025\/06\/11\/choosing-friends-wisely\/\"},\"wordCount\":477,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/sober.ie\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/sober.ie\/index.php\/2025\/06\/11\/choosing-friends-wisely\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/sober.ie\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/Blog-Small-Large-12.png\",\"articleSection\":[\"Addiction\",\"Flashback\",\"Homelessness\",\"Living Sober\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/sober.ie\/index.php\/2025\/06\/11\/choosing-friends-wisely\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/sober.ie\/index.php\/2025\/06\/11\/choosing-friends-wisely\/\",\"name\":\"Choosing Friends Wisely - Sober.ie V1.3\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/sober.ie\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/sober.ie\/index.php\/2025\/06\/11\/choosing-friends-wisely\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/sober.ie\/index.php\/2025\/06\/11\/choosing-friends-wisely\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/sober.ie\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/Blog-Small-Large-12.png\",\"datePublished\":\"2025-06-29T22:17:59+00:00\",\"description\":\"Since I got sober I have realised I have no friend\u2019s really. 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