{"id":1135,"date":"2023-07-07T23:45:56","date_gmt":"2023-07-07T22:45:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sober.ie\/?p=1135"},"modified":"2025-07-15T18:13:35","modified_gmt":"2025-07-15T17:13:35","slug":"i-cant-live-like-this-live-typing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sober.ie\/index.php\/2023\/07\/07\/i-cant-live-like-this-live-typing\/","title":{"rendered":"I can\u2019t live like this (Live Typing)"},"content":{"rendered":"Reading Time: <\/span> < 1<\/span> minute<\/span><\/span>

I\u2019m constantly in fear, I see no way out. The receptors in my brain are fucked. I worry everyday. It\u2019s ironic that I can be so fearful of being murdered or stabbed yet I don\u2019t fear suicide. My head isn\u2019t well, but whom do I turn to? This is no way to live, sobriety is to be enjoyed. I am responsible for these suicidal fearful feelings, I brought people back to my house in addiction. It\u2019s on me. I thought I was doing well this morning going to my meeting, however I don\u2019t feel so good now. I don\u2019t want to pick up a drink but the only two exits I can see on the roundabout are taking my life or picking up a drink. I don\u2019t feel like picking up a drink. This is mental torture. I don\u2019t know what to do. Sobriety is meant to be about having a life worth living yet all I\u2019m doing is building a fortress. I\u2019ve always been good at building walls, walls of communication mainly. There are too many warning signals being sent to my brain. It\u2019s only two PM. I have three hours before I can take some quetiapine and have to wait six for my Olanzapine. I\u2019m unsure whether or not I can win this battle. I\u2019m sober nearly two weeks from alcohol at least, I should reach out to my mental health team yet I won\u2019t. I will suffer in silence today. I\u2019m fighting off the urge to self-harm.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Reading Time: <\/span> < 1<\/span> minute<\/span><\/span>I\u2019m constantly in fear, I see no way out. The receptors in my brain are fucked. I worry everyday. It\u2019s ironic that I can be so fearful of being murdered or stabbed yet I don\u2019t fear suicide. My head isn\u2019t well, but whom do I turn to? This is no ...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":930,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[60,50,67,63],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1135","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-addiction","category-livetyping","category-livingsober","category-mentalhealth"],"yoast_head":"\nI can\u2019t live like this (Live Typing) - Sober.ie V1.3<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I\u2019m constantly in fear, I see no way out. The receptors in my brain are fucked. I worry everyday. 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