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Signing Off

Writing on this website has been a whirlwind. I’ve brought up feelings and emotions I didn’t know I have. Writing ‘My Story’ has definitely empowered me and I would recommend it to anyone. Even if you want to keep it to yourself, it’s your story it is up to you what you do with it. I am hopeful that others will add their stories to this website to encourage a vibrant community of sobriety. I’ve lost count of how many relapses I have had during this process of the website but as I’ve stated this website will not be the fairytale ending people are used to reading. Addiction is cunning and baffling, recovery can be too. I hope I can relate to at least one person out there struggling with addiction, that for me would make all the relapses I […]

Shanley June 30, 2025

Addiction

Relationships in Addiction

Toxic, Toxic, Toxic. That is the only word I can use to describe relationships in addiction. Especially if there are two (or three in this modern world, I believe the term is trouple) people in addiction in the relationship. I have come across many couples within the homeless services and those who rely on addictions. It doesn’t work. I have seen my fair share of both physical and emotional abuse in addicted couples too. You become not only dependent on your drink, gamble or drug of choice but also you become dependent on each other too. Addiction and Recovery can be lonely, it’s only natural for people of similar interests to become attracted to each other. That attraction can come at a huge cost however. As I spoke about the cost benefit analysis. The short term needs and wants […]

Shanley June 30, 2025

Addiction

Choosing Friends Wisely

To this day I would consider myself popular around the homeless and alcoholic scenes. Fundamentally this is because I’m a people pleaser, I give money and drink to others’ and have an inability to say no. Since I got sober I have realised I have no friend’s really. I traded them for a bottle. Since being housed too it has come with its own obstacles. A lot of people have asked to stay over, to party here too. Regretfully I let them. My pride doesn’t help either. I hate being defined as vulnerable yet that is exactly what I am. These so-called friends are the reason I have ended up in Beaumont hospital and University Hospital Galway. I’m looking forward to making new connections, I’m looking forward to reigniting old friendships too. Afterall it’s nearly tennis season and I can’t […]

Shanley June 29, 2025

Addiction

Asking for Help

Pride, I hate it. I’m full of it and it’s a characteristic of mine that I hate. In the past year I believe I have asked for help only a handful of times. In reality I needed help more times than there are Audi cars in Ireland. For some reason I hit a brick wall everytime. I’m a people pleaser too and don’t like to burden people with my own personal obstacles. I would prefer to hide in my shell and pray that the problem goes away, my prayers are never answered however. The problems still exist. I bring myself to breaking point time and time again. Today and over the past few months I’m getting better, I’m asking for help more often and receiving it gratefully. I have had a few challenges in the past few months. My mental […]

Shanley June 29, 2025

Addiction

The Importance of Environment

I am blessed today that I have been given an apartment under the ‘Housing First’ scheme jointly run by the Galway City Council, Galway Simon, Cope Galway and the HSE. The scheme works on a model of housing someone and then work on their life challenges rather than the archaic system of fixing a persons’ challenges and then housing them. Today I’m very grateful for the position I’m in. I did a meeting online yesterday and I could see the background of one of the attendees. I could tell straight away he was in Abbey House, one of the better homeless shelters I have once spent time in. Most homeless shelters in Galway you are welcomed by a gated door, to ensure the safety of who comes and goes. It brought me back to my times trying to get sober […]

Shanley June 29, 2025

Addiction

Never Look Down (Reflection)

There was a time I judged and compared myself to a heroin addict. I use to look down on them, I used to report them to the staff in homeless hostels. I judged them wrongly I can admit today. They are as equal as anybody else. They are somebody's son or daughter, in some cases they are a brother or sister. In my own case an uncle. They are Father’s and Mother’s too. It actually took me turning to heroin for a period to knock the judgemental side of me out. In recovery and in addiction I have an awful habit of comparing myself to others’. I believe at times I am different to others, this allows me to either justify my addictions or puts me on a pedestal when I’m sober. I have often read homeless stories of […]

Shanley June 29, 2025

Activities

Reward Systems

I have adapted this from my reading of Atomic Habits. I’m fully aware this week that everybody deserves a reward system. As I reflect on my week I have hit my target of fifty pages of articles, I have been to three meetings and most importantly I haven’t picked up a drink. I have had urges however, the sun is currently splitting the rocks in Ireland. I rewarded my hard work with chicken wings last night. Hopefully by tomorrow I’ll be in a financial position to stock up on Coke Zero too. One thing I plan on doing is having a daily reward for every day I remain sober. AA would discourage my reward, a non-alcoholic beer. Many in AA believe that ‘non-alcoholic drinks are for non-alcoholics’. The most important reward of all will be that I will be […]

Shanley June 28, 2025

Addiction

The Detox Phase

Seizures. Nightmares. Irritation. Shits. Jitters. Insomnia. Anxiety. Fear. Puke. Sweats; the ingredients to a detox. I am blessed with the doctor I have, he has no problem prescribing me Librium to make my detoxes easier yet I have heard of some doctors who will only prescribe it a certain amount of times a year. Detox is rough and it’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Your environment too can be unhelpful. I have often had to detox in homeless accommodation surrounded by people who are still in the midst of addiction. Some people can detox themselves, I’ve done it myself rather than paying my doctor yet another visit. Going from sixteen, to eight, to four, to two cans can work but I’d always recommend visiting your GP. I am by far a medical professional, […]

Shanley June 28, 2025

Flashback

Please and Thank You

If it wasn’t for Please and Thank You I have no doubt that I would have done some jail time by now. Good manners can be priceless, both in and out of addiction. I have over forty previous convictions for being intoxicated in a public place. I would be known by most of A&E, Ambulance Crew and Gardai. I cannot express how much having manners has helped me. I was taught from a young age that good manners cost you nothing. It’s important not to look down on others too. I don’t know why I decided to publish this on a website that focuses on sobriety but what the hell. In Cuan Mhuire they teach you to be a disciple to yourself. Recovery can be hard, but you will make it ten times harder if you bring the wrong attitude […]

Shanley June 28, 2025

Fast Forward

Deflection (The Elephant in the Room)

This could be my last rant, I’m coming up to my target of articles and I believe I have kept the most important topic for last. To be truthful I was in such a fog of addiction I didn’t even realise how often I do it. Even this website for me at times can be my own unique way of deflecting from what's really going on. I have always tried to keep myself so busy in sobriety that I have no time to go on an inward journey. To this day I fear it. It’s unknown territory for me. I need to remind myself that the time has come to get comfortable with the uncomfortable. I don’t like reliving traumas I have experienced, I don’t like being told of the stupid things I have done in addiction. The utterly disgraceful […]

Shanley June 27, 2025

Signing Off

Relationships in Addiction

Choosing Friends Wisely

Asking for Help

The Importance of Environment

Never Look Down (Reflection)

Reward Systems

The Detox Phase

Please and Thank You

Deflection (The Elephant in the Room)

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