A Day of Rest – CM Athy (Reflection)

It’s Sunday today, our day of rest. Today I was in mass and came to the conclusion that I need to start forgiving myself for some of the close calls I have had in life. I also need to let go of my past. One thing I hope to do here is admit I was wrong and admit it to another human being. I will stop living in the past and move on knowing I can do good by others. I will find a new freedom. In CM they say ‘Your truth will set you free’. I’m holding on to regrets I have from when I was approx nine to eleven. Two things I shared my gratitude for today was being able to brush my teeth and my gratitude towards frontline services. In addiction I cannot manage the most basic of things. My personal hygiene goes to shit. Personal hygiene becomes unmanageable. Even if I wanted to practice brushing my teeth I wouldn’t be able to. Anytime I tried I would vomit. It’s the simple things we take for granted. There’s about one hundred currently in the house, out of them I would say ninety five are simply looking forward to having the most basic things in life. Like being able to be present with their kids and/or family. To be able to eat breakfast in the morning. To have peace of mind. Knowing they haven’t harmed anybody today, the list goes on.

Another thing I’m grateful for today is frontline services. From judges to healthcare staff to housing officers to guards. In my lifetime of addiction I had more than my fairshare of time from these services. I would be well known to them, I cannot walk two km without hearing a beep or seeing a wave from either the guards or ambulance staff. I have plagued housing charities such as Housing First, Respond, Galway Simon and Cope Galway for years. Judges have raised their concerns for me and defined me as a chronic alcoholic. I have done my time in probation services too. (Thanks for everything Corina) Other services I have used include my solicitor Olivia Traynor and residential treatment centres including Bushypark in Ennis, Cuan Mhuire in Coolarne and now Cuan Mhuire in Athy. For any service I cannot think of Thank You, my gratitude is for all of you today.