Guilty Pleasures

We all have them. Remember, recovery is meant to be enjoyed and not endured. Personally I’m on a journey of finding things that interest me and make life that little bit more enjoyable. In DBT they would call it ‘pleasant activities’. For me I’m currently enjoying my rollies and Coke Zero. I am yet to meet an angel in recovery. The closest I have come is being introduced to Our Lady in Cuan Mhuire. If you’re gambling but not an alcoholic enjoy a pint. If you’re not addicted to porn why not masterbate? You see where I’m going here, if you’re an alcoholic but not addicted to gambling enjoy a game of bingo or play the lotto. A lot of it comes down to replacing bad habits with good habits. It comes down to connection too. As human beings we are attracted to human connection. It’s in our DNA. At present I’m not doing a very good job at connection. My current connections include my family, service workers that support me and from today my long time addiction counsellor. I plan on going to one online and one physical meeting tomorrow, I’m essentially dipping my toes in the water. I’ll be surrounded by people just like me. I’ll be lucky enough to relate to their stories. Some will have long sobriety and some will only be in the door just like me. But at least I’ll be in the door, back in the sobriety game. I suffer from BPD so communicating with others is a huge challenge for me. One I try to avoid as much as possible. Life is to be enjoyed, that’s my mantra for the week. I’m having a good week this week and happy with my progress. I do know however if I don’t start connecting with others at a deeper level I’m at danger of relapse. My aim next week is to go back running, something I should consider is joining a running club, again doing things by myself hasn’t worked in the past. My Mum is in active retirement now, I’m jealous of her in some ways. She has an art class she goes to and she also participates in PickleBall. Again it’s all about the connection. Sometimes I feel, let me rephrase that most of the time I feel lesser than others. That is a myth I need to get out of my head. Again, maybe Our Lady would be a better human being but we are all equals. I’m not yet ready to talk at meetings and I hope that is respected at the meeting tomorrow. I don’t even have the two euros I’ve committed to the basket but I’m going for it. One thing I need to work on is having no regrets. Regret will lead me to relapse. I could excuse myself tomorrow because I will be attending a relapse prevention group online but I’d have regrets. Regret will inflame my urges to pick up a drink. Anyways I’m probably waffling on a bit. The moral of this article is to find something you like and do lots of it!